Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
