I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
