He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
