He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
