i was rollin on her like bob the builder
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i came on her dog
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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