i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
