Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
