I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
