oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
