I want to stick my p in your. b.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
