i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's blow job season.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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