Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize