i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
