She said her name was "party"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
