By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
