Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
