Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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