Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
