I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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