Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
