i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
