don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am one with the molecules
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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