I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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