I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's just like the Real World with babies
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
