Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
