He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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