She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
