I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
