We need to rekindle our bromance
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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