what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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