Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
