Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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