Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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