is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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