College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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