Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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