so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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