ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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