Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize