Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I had to cum in my sink.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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