I smell stomach acid.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
