Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
