Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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