I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
