like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
