Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
