he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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