you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
