Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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