im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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