i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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