i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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