weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
