why didn't you poke me back
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
