I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
