i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
