I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize