Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
