you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
